Nuttin' For Christmas
by Pheonix tamer
Summary: Bakura and Malik dedcide to spice things up at a little get together at the Kaiba Mansion


Disclaimer: I own nothing, including this song and characters.don't sue, its Christmas for crying out loud my bank account has already taken a beating *sigh*  
  
A/N- This is a one shot! My first one! Please don't flame.flames will be used to burn all of Kaiba's trench coats! SWEARING for Malik and Bakura's bad mouths! Oh and Malik is the light.  
  
Somebody Snitched On Me  
  
It was a wonderful snowy evening in the city of Domino. Christmas Eve to be exact. All had gathered at the Kaiba residence for a wonderful evening of fun and games. Or so they hoped.  
  
"Tristan.a little to the left.no ya other left ya moron!" shouted the blond while trying to balance on the brunet's shoulders trying desperately to put the traditional Christmas star onto of the tall evergreen that stood next to the fireplace.  
  
"Why don't you just use a step ladder? You two are going to kill yourselves," reasoned the owner of the Millennium puzzle as he shook his head at his two friends.  
  
"Now.where's..the..fun .in .that?" Tristan said while trying to balance the blond and regain his proper footing. "Jeez, Joey you weigh a ton!"  
  
"I knew I shouldn't have eaten those sugar cookies," the honey coloured eyed teen said as he placed the star on top of the tree. "THERE! HA HA .JOEY WHEELER SAVES THE DAY AGAIN!" shouted the teen, as he waved his arms about and striking a heroic pose atop of the brunet but not before losing his balance and causing both teens to topple over landing on top of each other.  
  
"I told you," reasoned the tri-coloured haired teen as he took a seat next to his spirit counterpart.  
  
Meanwhile on the other side of the room, a certain white haired hakari sat staring out the window gazing at the soft snow that was gently falling on the nearby windowsill.  
  
"What the hell are you looking at?" snapped a certain tomb robber as he approached his lighter half and peered out the window.  
  
"Nothing.just snow, it's so pretty don't you think so?" Ryou questioned as he turned his gaze to his yami and smiled innocently.  
  
"Hell no, it's cold, wet and disgusting," retorted the spirit of the ring as he looked down on the chocolate eyed teen. Ryou let out a sigh as he looked back at the others who were gathered around the CEO, who was at the piano.  
  
"Looks like they are going to sing some carols.." Ryou said happily as he rose from his current position and dragged his yami over to the others.  
  
The cerulean-eyed teen sat at the large grand piano, back straight and long slender fingers gently placed over the ivory keys. How he had gotten himself into this position, he had known to well. 'Damn those puppy dog eyes..' thought the brunet as he looked over at his younger brother who flashed him a small smile. 'Never again.never again am I letting these freaks into my home to celebrate Christmas with me and Mokuba,' thought the teen as he looked at all his so-called "friends". 'Friends.puh,' the CEO concluded. ' Friends don't ruin other "friends" kitchens!' the teen reasoned as he remembered an earlier incident in the kitchen with a certain sand coloured hair Egyptian and the tomb robber 'attempting' to make a Christmas log cake. How the two managed to set the curtains, table and countertop on fire was beyond him. How had let them in his kitchen anyway? The brunet let out a sigh. He was sure his insurance would cover it..or so he hoped.  
  
"Come on money bags.are we gonna sing or what?" Joey said as he impatiently tapped his foot and crossed his arms.  
  
"For the love of Ra mutt, please tell me you're not going to sing, we may go deaf," the CEO shot back at the blond.  
  
"Grrr.Kaiba, I'm a better singer than you'll eva be, ya ..ya.SCROGE!" shouted the honey eyed teen as Yami and Yugi tried to hold the blond back from trying to punch the brunet.  
  
"Well.what are we going to sing?" questioned Tea as she looked at the others for any suggestions.  
  
"How about Silent Night?" Tristan said happily as he placed his hand around the younger more feminine of the Wheeler family.  
  
"HEY! HANDS OFF TRISTAN!" yelled the blond as he pushed his best friend away from his younger sister.  
  
"Guys, please don't fight.it's Christmas," reasoned Serenity as she tried to calm her now fuming brother down.  
  
"Yeah Tristan, what's the matter with you?" the raven-haired teen said mockingly as he placed his hand on Serenity's shoulder.  
  
"That's goes for you two dice boy!" yelled Joey as he took his sister away from both of the hormone crazed teens grasps.  
  
"I guess silent night's out.how about Frosty the snow man!" Yugi shouted happily while looking at the others who all stood blinking and not saying anything. (A/N: insert cricket noises here).  
  
"I am not singing a song about a fat ball of ice who likes to play with little children and carries a mop!" shouted Bakura as he crossed his arms and looked at Malik who nodded and took out a piece of what looked to be music sheets.  
  
"Here, play this Kaiba," the lavender eyed teen said as he handed the sheet music to the brunet who looked it over and raised his brow in confusion.  
  
"This song? Are you sure?" The cerulean eyed teen questioned positively puzzled by the choice of the carol both psycho's had chosen.  
  
"Yes, now play the song damnit!" shouted the tomb robber as he cleared voice and gave the signal to other Egyptian to smirk.  
  
"But.. what song are you singing?" the white haired light questioned nervously as his yami turned to him and smirked evilly.  
  
"You'll see." The sand coloured haired Egyptian answered and nodded at Seto who cracked his fingers and started to play the chosen song on the ivories.  
  
(A/N- for this part I'll just write which character is singing whatever part)  
  
Bakura- "OOOOOHH.. Broke my bat on the pharaoh's head"  
  
Malik: "Somebody snitched on me. I hid a frog in Isis's bed;"  
  
Bakura- " Somebody snitched on me. I spilled some blood on my hakari's rug;"  
  
Malik: " I made Joey eat dog grub!"  
  
Bakura-" Tried to steal all of the millennium items."  
  
Malik: "Somebody snitched on me."  
  
Bakura and Malik: " Oh, We're gettin' nuttin' for Christmas.Ryou and Rashid are mad, We're getting' nuttin' for Christmas.'Cause we ain't been nuttin' but evil.errr.bad!"  
  
As the brunet played the musical break in the song, all of the gang stood mouths agape in utter shock at what the two psychos had come up with this time. Seto just shook his head and continued to play the keys elegantly as if he had been playing for years when in fact he had just started playing 2 years ago. Bakura stood smirking at his psychotic counterpart and nodded, signaling them to continue.  
  
Malik: "I put a tack on Seto's chair;"  
  
Bakura: "Somebody snitched on me,"  
  
Malik: "I tied a knot in Tea's hair!"  
  
Bakura-" Some fucking body snitched on me!"  
  
Bakura: "Climbed a blimp and saved Ryou's ass!"  
  
Malik: "Cut a whole in Otogi's pants!"  
  
Bakura-" Filled Tristan's hair with some ants!"  
  
Malik: "Somebody snitched on me.."  
  
All the teens continued to shake their heads at the two Egyptians. Somehow, someway they had managed to yet again cause some sort of raucous that would be remembered for many Christmas's to come. Ryou blushed and covered his face with his pale hands. He was truly embarrassed and now truly had had realized he had made a great mistake of bringing his yami and his psychotic friend to this get together. The pale skin looked up at his yami who just smiled and winked in his direction. Oh how he was going to kill Bakura for embarrassing him so.  
  
Malik: "I won't be seeing that fat old man."  
  
Bakura-"Somebody snitched on me" ".I bet it was that damn pharaoh too.." muttered the tomb robber under his breath.  
  
Malik: " That bastard won't come and visit me because.."  
  
Bakura-"Somebody snitched on me."  
  
Malik: "Next year I'll be going straight.*whispers* not really"  
  
Bakura- "Next year I'll be good..in bed, just wait!"  
  
Malik: "I'd start now, but fuck it, it's too late...so screw it"  
  
Bakura-"Somebody snitched on me..when I find out who it was I'll send the bastard to the shadow realm!"  
  
Malik: "So you better be good whatever you do," the Egyptian smiled innocently  
  
Bakura-" 'Cause if you're bad, like me, I'm warning you,"  
  
Malik and Bakura: "You'll dick all for Christmas!  
  
As the piano playing came to a close, Bakura and Malik stood smiling happily at the others who were positively speechless at what had just occurred. Until, a certain CEO broke the eerie silence.  
  
"What, pray tell the hell was that?" the brunet shot at the two Egyptians who looked at each other and smirked.  
  
"Why.. it was our own Christmas Carol," the tomb robber answered back proudly.  
  
"I thought it was rather good myself," Malik added as he sat up on the grand piano, waiting for the other's comments, but none came. Until, as slight giggling came from behind the blond, Joey Wheeler.  
  
"I thought it was funny! Sing another one!" yelled the smaller of the two Kaiba brother's smiling and holding his stomach from his outburst of laughter. The older of the two brothers's growled at the two "entertainers".  
  
"Look what you did! First, you ruin my kitchen.now you taint my brother! You're both idiots!" yelled the cerulean-eyed teen and glaring at the two Egyptians.  
  
"Hey! Don't call my yami an idiot! Sure he may not do the right thing all the time, but he's no idiot!" shot the chocolate eyed teen, which caused everyone in the room to shift their gaze to him. All of which were shocked to see him usual soft caring tone of voice to a more high pitched angrier tone.  
  
"Shut up I wasn't talking to you!" yelled the CEO back at Ryou, which caused Bakura to become a little.upset.  
  
"Don't tell my light to shut up you pompous rich little prick!"  
  
"Bakura! Let's not cause a fight here," the spirit of the puzzle said trying to calm down the tense atmosphere.  
  
"Oh lookie, the pharaoh's trying to play peace maker.. awww..save it, u leather wearing tight ass cocksucker!" the white haired spirit shot back as Yami growled and leapt at the tomb robber.  
  
"Yami! Don't!" shouted the small tri colour haired boy as he grabbed hold of his spirit counter part, who tried desperately to land one blow on the smirking tomb robber.  
  
"What's the matter pharaoh? Gotta get a midget to hold you back?" mocked the blond Egyptian as he flicked a loose strand of hair out of his face.  
  
"Midget? Midget?! No body calls my friend Yug a midget and get's away with it!" shot the temperamental blond as he clenched his fists in anger.  
  
"Oh shut it mutt, you couldn't hurt a flea," mocked the tall cerulean eyed CEO as he crossed his arms and smirked at the current situation.  
  
"I'll show you a flea Kaiba!" yelled the honey-eyed teen as the other's continued to argue amongst each other. Ahh, another Christmas at the Kaiba mansion, one that would be truly remembered. The rest of Domino slept quietly that night but the arguments and the threats on each other's lives echoed through the city all night long.  
  
REVIEW PLEASEEE!!!!! 


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